Music for dying and beyond death
Sally Roach was a beloved, talented, gentle, generous woman of great heart, skill and presence.
I first met Sally when she moved to live with her beloved partner Gordon in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Gordon was a key figure in the wonderful alternative community in Newcastle, and Sally, a yoga teacher, left her home in Scotland to be with him.
Sally didn't know any of us, and now had to start building her yoga business, which had been long established up north, up from scratch - never an easy thing to do.
I invited Sally to come and teach in the big front living room in my house. Every Wednesday morning, a group of us gathered there, shivering in the cold, as Sally eased our paths into our bodies' innate wisdom with the most creativity and skill I'd ever come across. Her approach to yoga was utterly fresh and mind-blowing for me - all my previous yoga teachers asked me to 'do' things with my body. Sally invited us to fall in love with our bodies just as they were - and the incredible thing was that, receiving this loving, gentle, playful attention, my body was suddenly able to 'do' all manner of poses and things it had never been able to do before. I couldn't believe it.
That was many years ago. Sally went on to become a staple figure in our community, gracing us all with her sense of gentle playfulness, her soft, quiet, holding presence, and her deep skill. She never stopped studying - she had only just completed a very intense training as a yoga therapist - and by the time she suddenly was diagnosed with terminal cancer many individuals and organisations across the north east of England had had the fortune to be blessed by her teaching, be it of mindfulness, trauma-informed yoga, or yoga for people a range of physical or mental issues: depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, mobility issues or long covid, to name just some. Never has the kind of work Sally offered the world been more needed.
When I heard the news about Sally's cancer, a song she had taught me many years in the back yard of that same house in Newcastle where she had taught came strongly to my mind. The words were in Spanish, and translated as:
Free like the air, free like the wind, like the stars in the heavens above.
I was about to record it and send it to Sally, when a thought came to me - wouldn't it be a lovely thing to make a recording featuring many of Sally's beloved friends and community all singing together, and send that to her instead? I made a quick recording on my phone of me singing the song and sent a few messages out to people I knew loved her, inviting them to send me a recording of them singing, and to tell anyone else they thought would like to be part of it.
Within a few days 37 people had sent voicenotes - amazing harmonies, simple recordings of them just speaking the words - both in Spanish and in English - and I started to put them all together. The result was amazing - it really sounded like we were all together, singing our hearts out for Sally.
But even more wonderful than the result was the process it initiated amongst those taking part. The impetus for doing the project had been simple - to send Sally a recording of a song she loved, sung by the people who loved her and who couldn't sing it for her in person any more, in the hope it would offer her some solace, resource and nourishment. I never for a moment thought about any effect it might have on us, the singers.
But then people started messaging about how deeply moving they were finding the singing the song, and listening to the recording as it was taking shape. Tears were being shed all over the world, people were finding in this virtual musical community a way to connect to their grief that they hadn't been able to, in a held way, as part of a collective rather than feeling alone with the sadness that Sally's illness and imminent departure was creating. Someone said it was one of the most powerful processes around death they'd ever been part of - far more powerful than many funerals or ceremonies they'd attened. I'd never received so many heartfelt thanks in my life for any piece of work I'd ever done. It seemed that I'd found something we all needed, but didn't know we did.
This is the song. I offer it here in wild, beloved memory of the wonder of Sally Roach, with deepest gratitude for her life on this planet and all that she was. I also offer it as I've learned now that bringing people's voices together in this way is an incredible healing tool for those being left behing, as well as powerful gift of love, permission and grace to a dying person, and the people left once they have passed on. Feel free to contact me if you would like support in the creation of something similar for someone you love. Let's make Sally's legacy to this world even more incredible than that which she offered in life.
Thank you Sally, we love you.
I first met Sally when she moved to live with her beloved partner Gordon in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Gordon was a key figure in the wonderful alternative community in Newcastle, and Sally, a yoga teacher, left her home in Scotland to be with him.
Sally didn't know any of us, and now had to start building her yoga business, which had been long established up north, up from scratch - never an easy thing to do.
I invited Sally to come and teach in the big front living room in my house. Every Wednesday morning, a group of us gathered there, shivering in the cold, as Sally eased our paths into our bodies' innate wisdom with the most creativity and skill I'd ever come across. Her approach to yoga was utterly fresh and mind-blowing for me - all my previous yoga teachers asked me to 'do' things with my body. Sally invited us to fall in love with our bodies just as they were - and the incredible thing was that, receiving this loving, gentle, playful attention, my body was suddenly able to 'do' all manner of poses and things it had never been able to do before. I couldn't believe it.
That was many years ago. Sally went on to become a staple figure in our community, gracing us all with her sense of gentle playfulness, her soft, quiet, holding presence, and her deep skill. She never stopped studying - she had only just completed a very intense training as a yoga therapist - and by the time she suddenly was diagnosed with terminal cancer many individuals and organisations across the north east of England had had the fortune to be blessed by her teaching, be it of mindfulness, trauma-informed yoga, or yoga for people a range of physical or mental issues: depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, mobility issues or long covid, to name just some. Never has the kind of work Sally offered the world been more needed.
When I heard the news about Sally's cancer, a song she had taught me many years in the back yard of that same house in Newcastle where she had taught came strongly to my mind. The words were in Spanish, and translated as:
Free like the air, free like the wind, like the stars in the heavens above.
I was about to record it and send it to Sally, when a thought came to me - wouldn't it be a lovely thing to make a recording featuring many of Sally's beloved friends and community all singing together, and send that to her instead? I made a quick recording on my phone of me singing the song and sent a few messages out to people I knew loved her, inviting them to send me a recording of them singing, and to tell anyone else they thought would like to be part of it.
Within a few days 37 people had sent voicenotes - amazing harmonies, simple recordings of them just speaking the words - both in Spanish and in English - and I started to put them all together. The result was amazing - it really sounded like we were all together, singing our hearts out for Sally.
But even more wonderful than the result was the process it initiated amongst those taking part. The impetus for doing the project had been simple - to send Sally a recording of a song she loved, sung by the people who loved her and who couldn't sing it for her in person any more, in the hope it would offer her some solace, resource and nourishment. I never for a moment thought about any effect it might have on us, the singers.
But then people started messaging about how deeply moving they were finding the singing the song, and listening to the recording as it was taking shape. Tears were being shed all over the world, people were finding in this virtual musical community a way to connect to their grief that they hadn't been able to, in a held way, as part of a collective rather than feeling alone with the sadness that Sally's illness and imminent departure was creating. Someone said it was one of the most powerful processes around death they'd ever been part of - far more powerful than many funerals or ceremonies they'd attened. I'd never received so many heartfelt thanks in my life for any piece of work I'd ever done. It seemed that I'd found something we all needed, but didn't know we did.
This is the song. I offer it here in wild, beloved memory of the wonder of Sally Roach, with deepest gratitude for her life on this planet and all that she was. I also offer it as I've learned now that bringing people's voices together in this way is an incredible healing tool for those being left behing, as well as powerful gift of love, permission and grace to a dying person, and the people left once they have passed on. Feel free to contact me if you would like support in the creation of something similar for someone you love. Let's make Sally's legacy to this world even more incredible than that which she offered in life.
Thank you Sally, we love you.
